Southern Living, 7th Grade

Hey Gang, I'm back. Wednesday, September 2nd.
Been a busy weekend and week. I am taking a vacation day Thursday to cut grass and get ready for my oldest daughter Sam's baby shower to be held at La Haciendado De La Sheffield this weekend. If ye haven't heard, Samantha is carrying my very first homemade grandboy, name TBD, who is due in December. I am cooking a shoulder and if youse want some gowood bar-b-cue, show up Sardee afternoon wif an appropriate gift fer mah new granbaby!
Anyhow, it is now 1959. I am in the seventh grade. My first experience with multiple teachers. In the past, I have only had one teacher at a time.
Now I have Billy Hood (who is my first cousin) teaching homeroom, Mrs. Woods teaching science and Mrs. Ryals teaching English ( a thankless job in the South!)
Anyhow, as I said, Billy, my teacher and cousin is also Freddie Matthews Brother-in-law! As you remember, Freddie was onna my good friends.
One interesting thing about the seventh grade was that Billy, in order to show the world that he was impartial, would beat the shit out of me and Freddie every chance he got! No matter who did what to who, either me or Freddie would get a whuppin. After a while, since we both survived the whuppin, it became a contest between the two of us to see just who could get the MOST whuppins that year. I remember well, about Jan. or Feb. of 1960, me and Fred were neck in neck. We both were at about 20 something whuppins each. One day George Scroggins and Barbara Aldrige (two of my classmates) got into a scuffle at the water fountain after lunch was over. I patiently waited til the fight was over in order to get a drink of water. Well, along came Billy, AKA "Coach Hood"! He jerked both them up and looked at me and said "Come with me!"
So, I went along, thinking he wanted me for a witness. Nope! He whupped George and Barbara for fighting and whupped me for watching! Go figger!
Anyhow, no big deal! Put me one up in front of Freddie in the ass beating contest!
BUT! Now here's something from the past that's one of the problems today! At supper. In the good old days, everybody in the family was at the supper table. Mama, Daddy and whoever! It was a Capitol Offense to not be at the supper table! I am not shitting you! You WERE THERE!!! Nowadays there is no supper table. There aint no daddy, mama is strung out, brother is in jail, whatever! If famblies could still congregate at the supper table, the world would be a better place! No kidding!
Anyhow, that night at the supper table, while eating some of my Momma's fabulous biscuits, she said,"How was your day?" Looking at me. Thinking NOTHING at all about it, I simply said,"Nothing special, a usual day. Got my butt whupped by Billy for watching George and Barbara fight." I seriously didn't think a thing about it!
But, my Mama said,"What!" So I repeated it, still seeing no big deal.
Mama looked at Daddy, saying nary a word, and my Daddy got up from the supper table, an unheard of event, walked out the front door and down the street to Billy Hood's house. He lived about a block down the street.
Stupid me asked,"Where's Daddy going?"
"To get to the bottom of this!", my Mama replied.
Oh shit, I stirred up something. Not deliberately, just making supper conversation.
Not worrying a lot about it, I ate a few more biscuits, a few more helpings of peas and okra and some of my Mama's world famous butter roll, and Daddy came back into the house, sat back down, looked at me and said,"This whuppin shit is OVER! Do you understand?"
Hell, I was petrified! I never seen my Daddy mad at anyone but me! I said, "But Daddy, I didn't set out to get a whuppin!"
Then I realized, Daddy wasn't mad at me, he had been down to give Billy Hood a whuppin, cussin, thrashing or whatever grown folks did.
Daddy said"This shit is over! If Billy ever whups you again, I damn well better know about it! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"
"Yessir!", what more could I say? That ended the contest. Freddie won by default. Billy never did even THINK about paddling my fat ass no more! Dammit!
Anyhow, a lot more of the 7th grade to go! Gonna quit now with this admonition! Look at what I have written. Listen to my words. At the time, it didn't phaze me, but in retrospect, I sincerely hope and pray that I was the EXACT SAME KIND OF DADDY THAT MY DADDY WAS!
End of story.....